i remember
you saying
you called
hoping
she
wouldn’t answer
and I
wonder…
am I now
she
as you listen to
whatever
whenever
wherever
do you hold
the phone…
your breath…
relieved?

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

do you see what i see
past sunsets
beyond bedroom doors
because i speak
and the hurt flies
and when you speak
my love slides
vision shifts
and so i seek
because i can’t
keep chasing
keep running
keep giving
keep depleting
an endless carousel
i wanted you
in spite of
barbed walls
silent lies
needed you
like
fingers raking
heartbeats racing
but horizons
painted different hues
i see
it isn’t you.

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

let me know when you can love me

wide open, out of bounds
with every cell that comprises you

let me know when you can love me

with doubts silenced
head and heart completely

let me know when you can love me

through any circumstance
sheltered and surrounded

let me know when you can love me

unabashedly
with boldness and certainty

let me know when you can love me

with kindness
mindful of a mended heart

let me know when you can love me

no matter when
no matter how far
no matter how long
no matter who’s right
no matter what’s wrong

the way that i love you.

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

little pieces
hit the floor
not enough
tear some more
beneath your feet
my heart lies torn
knowledge held
now so foreign
an angry you
a bleeding me
stands between
what could be

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

i keep thinking about you
you have me distracted
caught up in something
sprung up from chance
now these words are
churning
this well once dry
pouring forth
forgive me
this awkward stumble
i haven’t picked up pen
since i tried to say
goodbye to him.

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

I’m trying to show you I’m so more than that girl I used to be.
I pushed myself…to step from behind those crumbling walls.
To finally rinse away the dust of battles we’ve lost to each other.
I want to touch your face…knowing I now see beyond who I imagined you to be.
I long to hold your hands…and know that when I place my heart in
them you’ll keep me safe.
I need you to know that I am stronger because I can let you see that
I’m weak when it comes to you.
I’ve found this place inside…this honest place, filled with words unspoken.
I want to take you there….and let you always…stay.

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

i was distracted
walking blindly
stumbling blithely
into the arms of yesterday
if i could have known
you would have stayed
upon the pedestal
safely tucked away.
but, i couldn’t resist…
frantically turning
always comparing
never discerning
how i was mistakenly twirling
upon the slippery floor
of girlish make-believe
where you didn’t know
how to hurt me
and i still believed
you incapable of deceit
i want to cut out
the tongue
that told you
those words
i had to tear from my chest
because you sucked up
each admission
syllable by syllable
like some kind of beast
leaving this wounded
mess of me with nothing
but regret
for all my honesty.

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda

ready to admit
deep as darkest seas
snatch the heart of your sleeve
press it close to me
playing coward no more
about face
kicked open
take the floor
you’re going to
hear
feel
touch
taste
wreckless abandon
absence of fear
i want it all
i’m prepared to fall
backwards
forwards
for words
for keeps
from day break
until my mind sleeps
i’m filled with you
running over
pouring out
seeping through
no longer me
finally, we

© 2012 Twisted Lollipop / Misty Mareda